Baby Makes Three Beginnings
by Vlad-the-Impish
Summary: A lack of judgement on Buffy’s part leaves far reaching consequences and Xander steps up to the plate. This story is slightly AU, and characters might act differently to the way you might expect.
1. Chapter 1

**Baby Makes Three – Beginnings**

_**Chapter One**_

It was almost two months since Buffy's infamous night with Parker Abrams, and she was still in a funk over the whole thing. Willow and her mother had tried everything they could to bring her back to the land of the living (emotionally, not physically) but with little to no success.

Giles did his best to help, but between the generation gap and his Britishness, didn't fare very well. This was uncharted water for him and when he does bolster his courage enough to speak with her about it, the normally articulate man became a gibbering mess, reminding the gang of Hugh Grant but to the Nth power.

The only one who managed to get any sort of response from her was Xander, who had made it his mission to get a genuine smile out of her if it took the rest of his life, and with the way that Buffy had been acting it may just take that long.

In an effort to help her out on the slaying side of things, Xander had been exercising more than he ever had before, which wasn't really saying a lot as up until recently his favourite exercises were all Twinkie related, in an effort to be more useful in the slaying department as her mind was definitely not on her calling.

Giles had been training him with a sword, something he had taken to rather surprisingly in the Watcher's opinion, in an effort to give him an advantage during patrols. They both knew that he was at a disadvantage in the slaying department, given that he was fighting opponents who were several times stronger and faster than him, and Giles thought that a sword would help even the odds.

Willow guessed that Xander's affinity with swords has something to do with his love for the Highlander films and TV series and was half expecting him to purchase a coat like the ones they all wear.

His latest job, working construction, was also proving to be a benefit to him, as he was beginning to develop a more muscular physique and his level of endurance was also starting to rise.

Spending so much time around Buffy had awoken feelings in Xander that he thought had been put to bed a while ago, or at least he had convinced himself they had, and his love for the blonde Slayer is now greater than ever, causing his interactions with her to become bittersweet.

He had become her sounding board, diligently listening as she condemned all men as complete wastes of space (Xander's title as 'one of the girls' and Giles' pseudo-Father status making them exempt) and how she envied Willow's new sexual orientation as she wouldn't have to deal with the 'lying, cheating, testosterone engorged bastards' that make up half the world's human population.

Strangely, Xander was starting to believe that his chances of a romantic relationship with Buffy are on a par with his chances of winning the Indy 500 on a skateboard. With only three wheels. Going the wrong way. Blindfolded.

Spending so much time with Buffy meant that he was the first to notice that she was sick almost every day, something that he considered bringing up (not in that way) with the others, but knew that Buffy would only deny all knowledge if they asked, making it all the more difficult to deal with.

That unfortunately left only one option and while he didn't want to do it, he knew he had no other options open to him, so he steeled himself and decided to fall upon his sword (again, metaphorically) and talk to Buffy about it.

Fortunately for him, Buffy had beaten him to it.

She'd been waiting at the edge of the site where Xander was working for the last ten minutes, hoping to catch her friends so she could have a quick chat with him. Several of his colleagues had sent her appreciative glances, as well as the occasional wolf whistle and while part of her found it degrading, she couldn't help but get an ego boost from so many men taking notice in her. Of course, she'd deny it point blank if anyone asked.

She finally spotted him and called out to him, hoping that he'd hear her. "Xander!"

Xander spun round upon hearing his name and once he saw who called, ran straight over. "Hey Buff, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied quickly, a little too quickly for Xander's liking, "I just wanted to have a chat with my Xander-shaped friend."

"Cool, if you can wait my lunch break is in a couple of minutes."

"Of course I can wait silly."

He smiled and then went back to work, a couple of his colleagues patting him on the back. They presumably thought that they're together, and she could see if not hear Xander denying it, his smile dropping slightly as he did so. If it weren't for her enhanced senses she wouldn't have noticed, and felt a pang of something she couldn't quite identify. 'No matter how hard he tries, he just can't seem to get over his feelings for me. Is it wrong that I like that?'

Filing that titbit away for a later date, she waited patiently for him until the siren sounded indicating lunch. He came bounding over like a dog waiting to be taken for a walk, a wide smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye.

"So, what can I do for my favourite Slayer?" he asked.

"Xander, there are only two Slayer's and the other one is in a coma, a coma that I put her in need I mention, after she tried to kill us all. You calling me your favourite Slayer doesn't mean much when you take that into account."

"Okay, so how's my favourite **girl**? Is that better?" he asked with a smile and an eye roll.

"Much." Buffy noticed the pleased look on his face when she said that and realised how that could have been taken. 'He looks so happy.' "There's a small café just a block away; how about I treat you to lunch and we can chat."

"There's nothing I'd rather do than have lunch you Buff." She could see the sincerity in his eyes and is surprised by the warm feeling that gave her. Shaking it off, she started walking towards the café, Xander following close behind.

* * *

After sitting down and ordering their food, Xander waited for Buffy to start talking, but with her obvious reticence to begin the conversation, he decided to get the ball rolling for her.

"You know I've always got time for you Buff, so what's the what?" he asked, thinking of the best way to bring up the subject, 'by the way Buff, done any pregnancy tests lately?' he thought would be a little too blunt, even for him.

"I'm pregnant," she said emotionlessly, her silence coming to an end. She looked like she had just given him the weather forecast, but he could tell that was all for show. He could read her better than he could read himself and he was able to see the maelstrom of emotions swirling behind her eyes.

"… Could you say that in my good ear, I think this one's playing tricks on me," he quipped, falling back on familiar territory by making a joke of things that frightened him. He's not frightened for himself, he's frightened over the effects this will have on his friend's life, and wanted time to think on how to proceed.

"No tricks Xand, you heard right. I'm pregnant."

"Are you sure?" he asked, knowing that if he let on he had already figured it out, it would make things that much harder.

"I did the test, it went blue, then I went to the Doctor's and they confirmed it," she informed him, still in that emotionless tone.

"Wow, I mean, wow. I can't believe this but I'm speechless, I have absolutely no idea what to say." He knew he might be laying it on a bit thick, but his improvised babble-fest was giving him time to think of what to say. "I suppose the first thing I want to know is how you feel about it?" he asked eventually, knowing that her thoughts on the subject were the most important, and would give him an idea of how to help.

"To say that I was shocked would be the understatement of the millennia; I never thought that I would get the chance to have children, what with being a Slayer and all. I mean, I have thought about what it would be like to have kids, but there was always a husband and a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence involved."

"You have some strange notions of childbirth there Buff," he quipped.

"You know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do, but none of that told me how you feel about this Buffy," he pointed out, trying to find out what's going on in that brain of hers. Until he knew what she thought on the subject, there was little he could do to help.

"I know," she agreed, a little annoyed he figured it out so quickly, "but at the moment I really don't know **how** I feel, I guess it'll take time to sink in."

"I can understand that, this is life-altering stuff you're dealing with here, but I don't think time is something you have in abundance."

"Abundance?" she asked with a smile, the first he'd seen this conversation.

"I'm trying to pad out my vocabulary, but seriously you have a lot of decisions to make here Buff and there is one that you simply can't delay," he said, asking the question he wanted to without actually asking.

"No matter what mistakes I made, this baby shouldn't suffer because of it," she pointed out, answering the unasked question.

"I take that to mean you're keeping it?" he asked to be certain he wasn't getting his wires crossed, hating to use the term 'it', but not knowing any other way.

"I don't know about that, but I do know that I won't have an abortion. This baby has the same right to live as anyone else and I'd feel wrong to deny it that," she stated firmly, unconsciously raising her voice.

"Hey, whatever you decide is cool with me," he said soothingly, " and I'll support you 110 you know that. I just want to make sure that you have the opportunity to consider all the options available to you, instead of having the decision made for you by waiting too long and resenting it. I know from experience what it is like to be born to parent's that resent you from birth for changing their lives without their control; it isn't conducive to a happy childhood, believe you me."

Buffy could see the pain in his eyes and she once again marvelled at how someone so good came from somewhere so bad. She moved round the table to sit beside him and brought him into a comforting hug, saying in actions what she could never achieve with words, before getting back on topic.

"I know how important the decisions I'm going to make are Xander, that's why I'm talking to you about them first."

Now he **was** shocked; he knew they had been getting closer, but he never thought he'd be her first port of call in this type of situation. "I don't know what to say, I would have thought that Willow or your mom would have been your first choice, not that I'm not flattered as I am, but…"

"I get what you mean Xan," she said, cutting him off, "but you're the only one I can talk to about this who I know won't try to impose their opinions on me about the whole thing. If I went to mom we'd go from her yelling at me for being irresponsible enough to have unprotected sex, to her all but ordering me to have a termination so I don't ruin my life."

"You **know** Joyce loves you Buffy."

"Yeah I know and I love her too, something I should probably say more often come to think about it, but I also know that she would never consider keeping the baby as an option and she'd do her best to make me see that as well."

"You maybe right," he said with a sigh, although he didn't really believe Joyce would think such a thing, "but I **do** know that once you've made your mind up she'll support you like she always has."

"That's why I can't talk to her about it until I know what I'm going to do."

He nodded in acceptance of that, understanding her reasoning if nothing else, before he continued. "Don't get me wrong here, I'm not trying to fob you off to someone else or anything, but why can't you talk to Willow?" he asked, pretty much knowing the answer but needing to hear it from someone else.

"Willow wouldn't yell at me for being irresponsible; we know each other too well to think otherwise. I do know that she'd think the same as mom and want me to get rid of it as well, and while she wouldn't order me to like mom would, she would try her best to convince me that it was for the best. Before you ask, I briefly thought about going to Giles about this but we both know how he would react; he would try to be understanding about the situation, he knows from experience that you make mistakes when you're young, but he would end up wanting me to put my duties as a Slayer first, something I wouldn't be doing if I kept the baby."

"You do know you can't keep this from them, right? You know I won't say anything if you don't want me to, but this isn't something you can hide for long, especially once you begin to show."

"I know and I don't intend to keep it from them forever, I just want to be certain about what I'm going to do before I tell them."

He can tell that she'd already made her mind up; she just didn't want to voice it yet. That made no difference to his answer. "I'll do whatever I can to help. Have you told Parker?" he asked, desperately trying to keep the growl out of his voice when he said his name.

She had to suppress a grin at the way Xander had said Parker. He's never liked anyone she's gone out with, nor has he been able to hide it well. "I don't really see him as the father type, do you?" she said, evading the question.

"No, but that doesn't change that fact that he is the father. I know **I** would want to know."

Buffy heard the conviction in his voice and knew that he would never turn his children away. She didn't know too much about his childhood, he never brought it up and she never felt comfortable to ask, but she knew that it wasn't a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination.

She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was determined not to make the same mistakes as his parents and she knew without a shadow of a doubt that he'd be an excellent father. It's a shame she couldn't say that about all men.

"Well he didn't; first he tried to give me two hundred dollars to pay for an abortion, and then when I refused he said that it probably wasn't even his, as I've no doubt been opening my legs to half the men on campus."

"I'll kill him." Buffy pales slightly at the tone in Xander's voice, remembering when he had used that tone with her.

When he had promised to kill her if Willow had been hurt when she and Giles were abducted as part of the ritual to resurrect the Master, she knew that he was being serious and would keep that promise no matter what it took.

The prospect of Xander going to jail for the rest of his life for murder caused her to be almost overwhelmed by feelings of fear and loss. She knew how important Xander was to her, but she never imagined that the thought of losing him would be so devastatingly intense.

"Please Xander, don't do anything foolish." She almost didn't recognise her own voice, it sounded nothing like the confident and fearless warrior that was the Slayer, but more like the troubled young woman that was Buffy Summers. She could see that he was still determined to carry out his statement so she decides to play dirty, "Please don't, for me?" She knew she had him from the moment she said it, he could no more deny her a request than he could stop breathing.

"OK." She wasn't a fool; she knew how he felt about her, it wasn't as though he was all that good at hiding it. She sometimes wished that she felt the same way for him, it would have certainly prevented a lot of the heartache she has gone through over the years, but for whatever reason she hasn't. "So, what now?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well it sound like you've made up your mind to keep the baby, otherwise you would have gone to see your mom sooner. That makes me think you want moral support when you do tell her, so when do we go?"

She didn't answer; she just hugged him for all he was worth.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter Two - Two Days Later_**

The talk with Joyce hadn't gone anywhere near as bad as Buffy expected, much to Xander's relief. Sure, her mom wasn't exactly filled with the joys of spring about her only daughter being in the family way, especially considering it was due to a one-night stand as opposed to a relationship, but Xander would have been worried if she **hadn't** reacted like that. The fact she had proved that she cared about Buffy's welfare, something that was pretty much a given as far as Xander was concerned, seemed to make Buffy feel a little better.

He and Buffy had sat closely together on the couch during the conversation, which had Joyce looking at them curiously every now and then, but she didn't say anything, which Xander was eternally grateful for. They had been closer the last couple of days than they had been in, well, **ever** if he was being honest with himself, and while he definitely wouldn't mind something happening between them, he was more than happy just to be in her life right now in any respect. 'God, that makes me sound so desperate. Who am I kidding, I **am** desperate, it's just a **good** desperate.'

Like Buffy had expected, Joyce had brought up the subject of abortion as an option, but **only** an option, not as the desired solution like she thought her mom would want. She didn't attempt to pressure Buffy into thinking one way or the other at all, she simply made sure that Buffy was actually thinking about her options instead of just going with the flow. She was adamant about only one thing; that no matter what Buffy decided she would support her as best she could.

Xander had known that Joyce would react the way she did; she was just too good a mother and human being to do anything else, but he knew that convincing Buffy of that would have been nigh on impossible until she heard the words coming from Joyce's own mouth. She did look a little upset that Buffy had gone to him first instead of her, but she never commented on it for which he was glad.

While he knew that her prediction on how Joyce would behave was inaccurate, he wasn't so sure that her predictions about Willow and Giles' reaction to the news would also turn out that way, and to be quite honest that worried him.

The last few years he has seen Willow come out of her shell, which was a great thing to see as far as he was concerned, but with it has come less positive traits. Along with her growing self-esteem came the beginnings of a superiority complex, something that only seemed to expand once her journey into magic began.

He slowly started to see her looking down on those less intelligent or magically adept as she was, he included, and it was not endearing in any way shape or form. She has also become more judgemental towards people, condemning them for mistakes they'd made or almost made, even when she'd done similar things herself.

Those less positive traits had flourished it seemed to him while he'd been on his road trip, and were cemented once she'd embraced the college life. His failure to get into college, which was more accurately his inability to **afford** college considering he'd actually been accepted by UC Sunnydale, had also become a point of contention between the two of them, and he has sometimes felt that she looked down at him because of it.

That had really hurt, because she more than anyone should know how little money he'd always had, and the odds of his parents actually footing the bill were longer than him travelling to the moon using a space hopper. She had even almost called him a townie on more than one occasion; although she did manage to bite the word back before she did so, the fact that she even **contemplated** calling him that hurt more than he let on.

While she hadn't acted the same to Buffy, mainly because she had a mom that was willing to pay her tuition, he couldn't help but think that she would start once she heard about her new situation. What really worried him is that she might try and suggest a magical solution to her 'problem', something she seemed to be doing more and more lately.

He had thought that Tara, her girlfriend, might have been a bad influence on her when it came to witchcraft, but he'd changed his tune upon meeting her. Tara was such a pure and gentle person that he had felt guilty for thinking badly of her, and in fact now believed her to be a good influence on his friend. That of course made him realise that Willow might have been even worse than she was now had they not met, and that caused him to have a full body shudder.

Even if Willow didn't suggest a mystical solution to Buffy's 'problem', she would most certainly do whatever she could to change Buffy's mind if she thought her friend was making a mistake in remaining pregnant. He had discovered, or more precisely finally acknowledged, that Willow was a master at being passive aggressive; if she felt Buffy were doing something wrong, she would pressure her into doing something she didn't want, while making it look like she was actually being supportive. It hurt him to think of Willow like that, but he'd decided to put Buffy first, which forced him into acknowledging things in his friend that he'd otherwise ignore.

Giles' possible reaction also had Xander nervous; he knew that he'd only have the best of intentions, but he doubted that Giles would ever truly be able to put the needs of Buffy over the needs of the Slayer. For the Slayer to be effective, she can't be encumbered in any way; going through pregnancy will most assuredly prevent Buffy from doing her 'duty' as a Slayer, not to mention her priorities would change drastically once the baby was born.

Giles had chosen his direction in life, and as Buffy's Watcher he'd actually received a wage to do it until he'd been fired, but he expected Buffy to dedicate her life to her vocation for no other reason than because she'd been Chosen, a 'privilege' she had no control over. Even people conscripted into the army got paid; the only things Buffy really had to look forward to were the occasional pat on the back for a job well done and an early grave.

Xander had no doubt that Giles wanted nothing more than for Buffy to live to collect her pension, but he also saw her devoting her life to battling the forces of evil, as her Calling demanded. Realistically Xander knew that those two goals were mutually exclusive, as there was no way anyone who dedicated themselves to protecting humanity from the creatures of the night could hope to live a full and happy life. In his mind anyone who did wasn't doing it right.

Buffy deserved to be happy like every other human on the planet, and if she felt keeping her baby is the way to do that then Xander was going to support her every step of the way, and woe betide anyone or anything that tried to get in the way.

That was the last thought that entered his head as Buffy knocked on the door to Giles' apartment, something Xander found strange considering she never seemed to know what knocking was. About ten seconds later, the door opens and Giles peers his head round it.

"Buffy, Xander, why did you knock?" he asked, having never known either of them to do so before.

"I don't know," she replied, the reason for being there making her feel uncomfortable, "I just thought I'd try something a little different."

Giles waved them in, non-verbal invitation being the norm among those in the know about the nightlife, and Buffy and Xander followed him into the living room.

"So what do I owe the honour of a visit?" he asked, his confusion still evident.

Xander could see how nervous Buffy was, the same as she was when telling her mom, so he clasped her hand in his own. That had an immediate calming effect, something that Xander couldn't help but feel happy about, but he kept his features as neutral as possible to hide the fact.

Giles saw the gesture and misunderstood the situation; assuming that they were there to inform him they are now a couple. He couldn't see much wrong with that, Xander being **far** better than both Angel and that Parker fellow in his opinion, but he was worried that it might affect her slaying duties.

Xander, while showing more interest in patrolling, had never shown true devotion to the cause that the paramour of a Slayer would need, and hoped that Buffy wouldn't follow in his footsteps and become lax in her Calling.

"I take it congratulations are in order?"

They both looked at him in shock.

"Huh?" was Buffy's intelligent reply. "How did you know?"

"I am a **Watcher** you know, there is a clue in the title as to what I am proficient in."

"And you're not upset?" she asked, thinking that this was going far better than she had anticipated.

"I don't see that it's any of my business actually," he replied, deciding on a half-truth for the moment, "as long as your duties as a Slayer are not affected."

"Well there'll come a time when that can't be helped, it's difficult fighting a vamp when it's a struggle getting up off the couch," she quipped, knowing from stories her mom told her that moving around unaided became a luxury near the end of pregnancy.

"As long as you maintain your training regime I see no problem. While I said that this was none of my business, I do have to warn you Xander that if you should hurt her in any way I shall take great pleasure in skinning you alive."

"Okay, I think we've **definitely** got a crossed wire here Giles. What do you think we're here to talk about?" Buffy asked, completely confused. 'As if Xander would ever hurt me.'

Despite the fact she could bend him into a human pretzel if he tried, Xander didn't have an evil bone in his body and would never do such a thing. In fact she was pretty certain that the thought of harming her would only make him feel nauseous.

"Well, the fact that you and Xander are, as you say, an item."

"Now I'm back to the 'huh?' I said earlier."

"Well you do realise that you have been holding hands for almost the entirety of this conversation. As I said before, I am a Watcher."

"We aren't going out. I mean, come on, be serious."

At her words, Xander removed his hand from hers and shifted slightly away from her. He tried not to let what she said affect him, but it was impossible to take what she'd said as anything less than a rejection.

He found it odd that, while she could think so highly of him as a friend, she could react so strongly against anything else. If he were such a horrible option as a boyfriend, how could she possibly like him so much as a friend? Knowing that he had to put those thoughts aside for the moment, he focused on the conversation once more.

"If you are not here to talk about your relationship, what pray tell are you here to tell me?"

"Well, you see, the thing is… you know I've had this talk twice already and I still can't think of a way to lead into it so I'll just come right to the point; I'm pregnant."

"You're…" he gestured towards her stomach vaguely, having difficulty saying the words himself.

"Going to have a baby, yes Giles."

The room lapsed into silence. Giles needed time to think over what his charge had just told him, and neither Buffy nor Xander wanted to rush him. After a minute or two, Giles stood up and began to pace.

"Everything is going to be fine Buffy, I'll make all the arrangements."

"Arrangements?"

"Yes, as you're now of age you don't have to get your mother's permission, so I'm sure that I could get you an appointment sometime tomorrow."

"Appointment? What are you talking about Giles?"

Xander had a feeling he knew exactly what Giles was saying, and knew that the conversation was going to crash and burn any minute now.

"Well a termination of course. As a Slayer…"

"Don't you **dare** finish that sentence Giles," Buffy growled, having quickly lost what little control she had on her anger.

Like Xander, she had quickly figured out what her Watcher had been driving at, but had decided to keep her cool until he had actually come right out and said it.

After her talk with her mom, she had begun to hope that things would go as well with the others, but now she could see that wasn't going to happen. In a way she couldn't blame Giles for thinking the way he did, but it did sadly prove to her what was more important to him. It never crossed his mind that she might want to keep the baby, no doubt the thought of a Slayer as a mother being preposterous to him.

"Whatever is the matter Buffy, I am only thinking of your well being."

"No Giles, you're thinking of the Slayer's well being."

"Buffy, you **are** the Slayer," he pointed out, speaking as though she were a child and not a young woman.

"I'm also Buffy Summers. I know you want me to commit fully to being the Slayer, but I want a normal life."

"Buffy, you can **never** have a normal life in the way other people will, because whether you like it or not, you are the Slayer. I fervently hope that you live a long life, but your Calling will prevent you from having the things that the majority of people take for granted. I know you don't want that, but that is the way things are and will always be. The sooner you fully accept that, the easier it will be on you in the long run."

"Just out of curiosity Giles," Xander interjected, "but who decided that Slayers were to go through life like that?"

"Well, the Council…"

Xander cut him off before he could continue. "Is that the same Council that, presumably, kidnaps children from their families at a young age, purely because they **might** become a Slayer if the previous one were to die? The same Council that thought stripping a Slayer of their powers, and then putting them in a room with a starved and psychotic vampire to test if they were worthy of their 'support', was a **good** thing? The same Council that fired you because you had the **audacity** to actually show caring for your charge and didn't want to send her into a suicide mission completely helpless? Is **this** the source that you're citing for your argument?"

"Just because some of their tactics are not exactly savoury," he replied, anger colouring his tone at the way Xander was speaking to him, "doesn't mean that **all** of their ideas are wrong."

"What about cops? Or soldiers? Or fire fighters? They all have jobs that put them in danger on a daily basis, and yet manage to have families."

"That's completely different."

"How?" he asked, trying desperately to keep his tone calm in hope that things wouldn't degenerate further. "Apart from the fact they deal with human evils while Buffy deals with **in**human ones, their jobs are pretty much the same. They also have the added bonus of getting to actually **choose** whether to join that profession or not, instead of being drafted by some unknown higher power when they're still legally a minor. I also take it that the Council is like a family thing; where the children follow in the parents' footsteps. Why do you get to have a family if you wish and yet Buffy doesn't?"

"You're not being reasonable Xander. Buffy will not be able to work effectively if she is constantly worried about her child, not to mention the months she'll be out of commission during the actual pregnancy."

"Dealing with the pregnancy first, it isn't the first time we've dealt with the nightlife without the help of a Slayer. If need be, we could always call in Deadboy to help out if we got swamped."

Buffy whipped her head round to stare at Xander like he'd just said that Elvis and Kurt Cobaine were outside in drag singing the Macarena. She knew Xander's dislike of Angel, his inability to actually use his name being a dead giveaway, so for him to make the suggestion of asking for Angel's help was almost inconceivable.

She also felt a sense of guilt that it was indeed not the first time they would be without a Slayer; her 'sabbatical' in LA after defeating Angelus was one of her biggest regrets. She'd not thought of what it would be like for everyone she'd left behind, and when she'd returned and found out they had been patrolling without her she felt like she needed a rock to crawl under.

"As for after," Xander continued, unaware of his friend's inner musings, "I'm sure between Joyce and myself the baby will be more than okay, so Buffy won't have anything to worry about."

"You're the father?" Giles asked, putting a liberal amount of menace in his voice in the hope that it would dissuade Xander from talking further.

Try as he might, Giles couldn't help but agree with much of what Xander was saying, which only made his job of persuading Buffy otherwise that much harder. While he did agree with everything he had just said, it wasn't the major reason for wanting Buffy to terminate the baby.

There have been two previous occasions where a Slayer has had a child; the first was around the time that Angelus was first turned, and the Council took the baby and experimented on it like it was nothing more than a lab specimen, after 'neutralising' the Slayer.

The second severed all ties to the Council once she realised that she was pregnant, her Watcher being the father of the baby going with her. Not much was known of Nikki Wood, but when another Slayer was called a few years after she disappeared, the Council stopped caring one way or the other.

With the situation between themselves and the Council the way it was, he had no doubt that once they were aware of Buffy's maternal status they would either endeavour to eliminate her before the birth, or wait and abduct the child afterwards. With the resources that the Council had at its disposal, there would be no way that they could protect Buffy and the baby without her doing the same thing as Nikki and fleeing.

"No," 'unfortunately,' "but why should **that** matter? Buffy is my friend and I'll do whatever I can to make her life easier. If helping to look after the baby does that, then that's what I'll do."

Giles realised that arguing the point further with Xander was pointless, as he seemed to be on top form with a counter to his every argument, so he turned his attentions to Buffy, hoping that he might convince her he was right.

"Buffy, I urge you to reconsider…"

"Giles," she said sharply, cutting him off, "I'm having this baby whether you like it or not. I'd love to have your support, but seeing as that won't happen I see no reason in staying here a moment longer so I'm leaving."

With that, Buffy jumped up and stormed out. Before following her, Xander pinned Giles with a look that made the older man squirm from its intensity.

"You need to consider something Giles. When you were fired from the Council it was because you had a father's love for Buffy; where is it when she needs it the most?"

He left before Giles could say another word, leaving the former Watcher with a lot of thinking to do.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three - Two Months Later**_

It had taken three weeks for things to settle between Buffy and Giles after their 'talk', and that was only after Joyce had finally managed to get out of her daughter just what had happened that night. Upon learning what had been said, Joyce had immediately gone over the to the former Watcher's apartment and had verbally ripped him a new asshole. She had told him in no uncertain terms, and by all accounts several languages, what she thought of his treatment of her daughter, and had informed him that if he didn't make things right between them, he would be sent back to England in a box… two weeks after his 'crown jewels'.

Buffy's morning sickness started to kick into overdrive a couple of days after the meeting with Giles, although why it was called morning sickness when it lasted all day was beyond Xander, and it had made it that much harder for Buffy to hide her condition from becoming common knowledge. Luckily, she had a far better control over her gag reflex than most people, something Xander was smart enough not to ask about, and had been able to hold back on it whilst in class so she didn't attract undue attention to herself, rushing to the nearest ladies room the moment the class was over.

Because she didn't want Willow to know what was going on yet, as given how well it went the last time she told someone about her pregnancy she was reluctant to go through it again, Buffy had moved out of the dorm and back in with her mom. It was something that Joyce was inwardly thrilled with, as it meant that she could ensure Buffy was eating enough and generally taking care of herself without being seen as too overprotective.

The last year or so Buffy had begun to feel more and more conscious of her weight, something that neither Xander nor Joyce could understand, albeit for different reasons, and she had consequently lost more weight than was probably wise. Now that she had to eat for two, and coupling that with her naturally, or in this case preternaturally, fast metabolism, she had to eat a helluvalot more than she had been and Joyce was determined to see that she did, even if most of it came right back up again.

Buffy bitched and moaned as was expected, but no one could be ignorant of the underlying happiness in her eyes that Joyce was being so supportive. Seeing it made Xander once again wish that he had been blessed with a mother like Joyce, instead of the neglectful drunk that was Jessica.

Xander was helping too, meeting Buffy for lunch most days and ensuring that she would eat as much as he did, which was more than enough for both her and the baby. He would also accompany her on patrol, something she had started to pick up once more now that things were mostly out in the open, and while she would still occasionally mumble out the usual spiel to try and keep him 'fray-adjacent', it was mostly for show.

All this meant that he got to see her more often, which was as always a double-edged sword. On the one hand he could never not enjoy being in her company, their continued closeness bolstering their already strong friendship, but on the other hand being so close to her, and yet not in the way he would like, was tearing at his heart.

He still hadn't been able to get out of his mind how she had reacted to Giles' initial misunderstanding that night, when the former Watcher thought they were there to announce they were going out. Her reaction had reinforced his awareness that he had a hope in Hellmouth's chance of seeing their relationship progressing as he would want, which while unsurprising, was still a bitter pill to swallow.

What made it worse was that since their initial talk when she'd confided in him, they had been holding hands when walking together, hugging more often, sitting closer together, and basically doing a lot of the things he would do if her were her boyfriend. While on the one hand he enjoyed being able to be so tactile with her, on the other hand it was exquisite torture for him, because he always had to hide how he truly felt about it.

He'd considered taking a step back from her for a while, in the hope that he might gain control over his feelings for her without her constant presence in his life, but Xander knew that without giving an adequate excuse as to why, it would only confuse and hurt the blonde slayer at a time when she didn't need any unnecessary stress.

That left him with only one option; suck it up and hope that it passed before things came to a head and he put his foot in it.

Again.

Another problem he had was Willow, who had become more and more suspicious of what was going on in recent weeks, especially after Buffy moved out. His two best friends had spent less and less time together, Buffy knowing that Willow would get out of her what was going on if they were around each other for long, and as he was spending more time with Buffy, he too was seeing her less as well.

This was causing problems between the two childhood friends, as whenever he saw or spoke to Willow, she would always try and get out of him what was going on with Buffy, and he had to be as evasive as possible without actually lying. He even thought he heard her begin to murmur a truth spell under her breath one time, but as she was interrupted before she could finish he couldn't be certain. That thought had forced him to him suppress an all over body shudder; the idea that she would go to such lengths making him wonder if he really knew her at all anymore.

The fact Buffy was now starting to show, beyond her ability to easily hide, only made things worse, as they both knew that there was no chance that Willow would be able to ignore the visual clue as to her condition. That meant Buffy either had to stop seeing Willow altogether, something she didn't want to do, or finally come clean and explain what was going on and withstand the fallout the revelation would cause. While Xander did his best to go over everything with her, Buffy was still not ready to make that decision.

* * *

The decision had been made for Buffy when Willow, finally having enough of the cold shoulder treatment, confronted her.

"What the hell is going on Buffy?" she had asked without preamble. "You move out of the dorm, barely talk to me, and as far as I can tell I've done nothing wrong. You either tell me what your problem is or I swear we're though."

"I'm pregnant," Buffy blurted out finally, the threat of losing Willow as a friend making her less tactful than she would have otherwise been.

"Oh," Willow replied softly, no real indication of how she felt in her voice.

Buffy thought that Willow had taken it quite well until she heard the thud that indicated her friend falling to the floor in a dead faint.

* * *

Twenty minutes later Willow had come to, and when she acted as though she hadn't heard Buffy's news, the Slayer was quick to rectify the situation, not certain that she would have the strength to do this again otherwise.

"Well that's something I can easily fix for you," Willow replied eventually, getting up to look through her books. "I just recently found a spell that…"

"I don't want you to 'fix' anything Willow," Buffy told her firmly, cutting the redhead off, "I'm keeping the baby."

"You're not serious are you?" Willow asked, her tone incredulous.

"Deadly." Buffy wasn't going to sit as quietly as she had when Giles put his objections in, although this time she didn't have Xander to champion her corner. "Listen," she went on, "I would love it if you could support me in this, even be happy for me, but if you can't I'll deal."

"You're not thinking straight Buffy," Willow informed her, going back through her books to look for something, "something is definitely wrong here. Let me just check and see what's influencing you and we'll soon get this sorted."

"Don't. You. Dare."

The Arctic like temperature Buffy's tone commanded froze Willow in her seat. As she looked into her friend's eyes, she could see the anger simmering just beneath the surface, and realised that she had just insulted her by suggesting that she wasn't thinking clearly.

Despite the fact Willow knew that her friend was ruining her life with such a ridiculous decision, she should have known better than to face her with it head on. What she needed to do now was allow Buffy to calm down and allow herself time to find the right spell to help Buffy see what a major mistake she was making.

"Okay," she replied slowly, "I'm sorry for overreacting. It's just that you told me something pretty major here, and I'm having a little trouble processing it at the moment."

Buffy saw the calculating look in her friend's eyes and knew that whatever she said and will say from now on would be intended to lull her into a false sense of security. She had spoken to Xander several times over the last few weeks about the possible outcomes of informing Willow of her pregnancy, and she had been surprised when he had suggested that she might not take her word that she had thought her decision through.

She knew that Willow had become more self-assured the last year or so, her growing proficiency in magic had helped increase her confidence, but it seemed like she had missed some of the less desirable qualities that had come with it. Willow had always been very good at letting you know that she disagreed with you without actually saying she disagreed with you, and Buffy had found herself persuaded by Willow's unique brand of passive aggressive technique on more than one occasion, her views on Xander and Cordelia's relationship being a prime example, but she had never considered that Willow might actually use her knowledge of witchcraft to enforce her opinion on someone else.

When Xander had suggested it, Buffy had looked at him like he'd grown a second head, and Xander himself had looked almost nauseous at the thought, but he told her that at the moment her and her baby were the priorities in his mind and that meant he was forced to point out the flaws in his oldest and closest friend.

He'd gone on to give a few examples of how when they were younger Willow had been quite devious when she thought someone was doing something that was wrong for them, instigating situations where both he and Jesse had little option but go along with what she had wanted. He'd explained that as they had gotten older, the two boys had figured out her tricks and had become immune to them, but with magic in the mix he was worried that Willow might find a way to make Buffy change her mind whether she wanted to or not.

She hadn't wanted to believe him, but with her unborn baby on the line, she hadn't want to take any chances, which was why she had asked Giles to call in a favour with a magic friend of his and got a protection spell cast on her necklace that would block any attempt to influence her mind in any way. Now she was glad that she had.

"I'm going to go now," Buffy said coolly, unable to equate the woman currently standing in front of her with her best friend, "and allow us both time to cool off." Buffy got up and went over to the door. "I'll call you in a couple of days," she said as she left, quickly closing the door behind her.

* * *

"I'm scared," Buffy told Xander an hour later, the pair sitting on his makeshift couch in the basement of his parents house. "She didn't listen to what I was saying; she'd just made up her mind that something was wrong, and was determined to 'fix' it. How could I have missed this about her?" she asked, although the question was to herself than to her companion.

"Her confidence in herself has grown a lot in the years you've been around," Xander replied, knowing that despite the question not being directed at him, Buffy still needed an answer, "and I'm sure that magic has also been a factor. She's found something that can literally change the world to be the way she believes it should be, and truly believes that what she's doing is for the best."

He could see that Buffy was shaking slightly, and pulled her into a loose embrace. "Hey," he went on soothingly, "Giles put that whammy on you so that no one else can put the whammy on you, so Willow can't hurt you or the baby."

"No, but she could hurt you," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" Xander asked, having barely caught what Buffy had said. "Why would she hurt me?"

"She's going to try and 'fix' me, and when she finds that she can't she'll want to find out why. With the way we've been acting, added to the fact I didn't tell her who the father was…"

"She's going to think it's mine," Xander finished for her, "and if she can't fix the problem, she's gonna want to fix the person that caused the problem."

"I'm sorry," Buffy said after a few moments, "you've been so great to me, and all I'm doing is causing you pain."

"You're not causing me any pain Buffy," Xander assured her, tightening his hold on her. "Anyway, I'm only doing what any friend would."

"No you're not," Buffy disagreed, "you're doing so much more, and I want you to know that I really appreciate it," she told him sincerely.

Xander ducked his head a little as he felt a blush coming on, feeling embarrassed over his friend's praise, and Buffy found it endearing, not to mention more than a little cute. She felt momentary surprise at the notion, but that was more out of reflex than anything else. Over the past few weeks, Buffy had found herself finally looking at Xander for who he really was, and not just what she had imagined him to be, and found herself immensely pleased with what she saw.

Normally when she found a guy attractive and was in close proximity of them, Buffy would find herself uncomfortable, the unsteady but pleasurable feeling of butterflies in her stomach make her less sure of herself. She felt none of that with Xander, partly because she just felt so comfortable around him, and partly because unlike the other men she'd taken a fancy to, she was certain of his feelings for her.

There was of course a different problem when it came to her Xander-shaped friend, in that while she was certain of Xander's feelings for her, Buffy knew that Xander would be extremely reticent over any signs of interest she showed in him. She couldn't really blame him, as the one time he asked her out she turned him down flat, and any time she showed any sort of interest in him, she was either under the influence of magic, not in her right mind, or a bitch.

Because of that, she knew that she would need to take a different approach to things with Xander, the first step having already been taken with the extra level of touching she had initiated with him. She felt a little guilty over the way she was doing things, knowing that Xander would be going through hell trying not to show how much he enjoyed the more tactile side of their friendship, but she knew that she had to get him used to the fact she wanted to touch him more, not that she was being forced to.

Willow's disturbing reaction to her baby news had actually helped in a way, giving her an excuse to initiate step two, which was to show Xander that she really did appreciate everything that he did for her, whilst also doing what she could to prevent him from playing down just how much he did for her. She had to help build up his self-esteem, a trait that she could now tell he had been sorely lacking for a very long time, which she hoped would allow him to believe that taking another chance at asking her out would not be the disaster he thought it to be.

And then there had been her reaction to Giles' assumption that they were a couple. She suppressed a groan as she remembered how strongly she rejected the idea, knowing how badly Xander had to have taken it. Looking back on it now, she couldn't see why she had reacted the way she did, but back then her idea of him was still clouded, only seeing him for the sixteen year old boy she had first met. Saying that, it still wasn't logical the things she had said that night, making it sound as though he was barely tolerable to even be around, and was therefore even happier to have the mental blindfold concerning Xander removed.

If she could go back and change things she would, but given where she lived that simply wouldn't be possible possible without serious consequences, so she just had to focus on the future, especially as there were so many things she would like to have done differently.

"You know I would do anything for you Buffy," he told her softly, before he blinked rapidly and stood up, taking several steps away from her.

Buffy didn't take his sudden retreat personally, knowing that he did it in an attempt to bury his feelings for her once more, probably berating himself for saying what he did.

"I feel the same way," she told him sincerely, getting up and moving behind him so she could place a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know what I'd do without you in my life and I hope to never find out."

"Well, seeing as I'm not planning on going anywhere for a good sixty or seventy years yet, I don't think you have much to worry about," Xander said as he turned round and hugged her gently, happy that she hadn't taken his declaration the wrong way.

"Good," she replied firmly as she leaned into his embrace, savouring the comfort and safety she always felt being so close to him. Reluctantly, she pulled away from Xander and went to pick up her jacket. "I better get back home, or mom will call out the National Guard to find me."

"Your mom isn't that bad Buffy, she just worries about you, and it's something you shouldn't take for granted as not all mother's are as caring," Xander told her, his expression darkening as he though of his own mother, who was currently marinating in alcohol on the couch upstairs.

She smiled sadly at him, knowing that there wasn't anything she could say to make him feel better about his parents, and after sending him a quick wave made her way home.

* * *

As Buffy went to unlock the door to her house, she felt a tickling sensation around her neck, indicating that someone was trying to cast a spell on her. Moments later the tickling became painful, and moments after that it was all she could do not to scream in agony.

She was barely able to make herself move, making her way inside and collapsing on the couch as the pain continued to grow. Just as she was contemplating removing the necklace, making her susceptible to whoever was targeting her, the pain disappeared, meaning that whoever was trying to affect her had finally given up.

Crawling over to the phone, Buffy pressed 3 on speed dial and waited for them to answer. "Hello, Rupert Giles speaking."

"Giles," Buffy sighed, still feeling remnants of pain.

"Buffy? What's wrong?" he asked/demanded, having heard the tension in her voice and knowing that whatever had her calling him had shaken her severely.

"Boy, am I glad I let Xander convince me to get this necklace," she said in a voice that sounded much brighter than she felt, "although I would have appreciated you telling me just how painful it would be."

"Painful? You shouldn't have felt anything other than mild discomfort…" Giles trailed off for a moment before he began speaking again, "good lord, we have a bigger problem concerning Willow than I thought."

"What do you mean?"

"When you and Xander originally came to me regarding Willow, I had gone over my interactions with her in a more critical light. Of the spells that she had been able to successfully perform, she had always used far too much power to do so. The best analogy would be that when she needs to bang in a nail, she uses a wrecking ball instead of a hammer."

"We don't know that it was Willow," Buffy protested, but the words sounded hollow even to her own ears.

"Buffy," Giles began, doing his best to sound reasonable, "she is the reason you were given the necklace in the first place, and if there were anyone else in Sunnydale powerful enough to do what they did to your necklace I would have heard about it. No Buffy, I'm afraid we have to face the fact that Willow tried to cast a spell on you and failed, thankfully." Giles was silent for a moment before speaking once more. "Is you mother home?"

"It doesn't look like it; I wasn't exactly quiet there near the end and I'm sure mom would have been there like a rocket if she thought I was in pain."

"Then I suggest that you come round and wait for her here; I have some extra wards placed around my apartment that will protect you from any further attacks, above and beyond your necklace. I will contact your mother to let her know to come here as opposed to home."

"Will she be okay?"

"I cannot see Willow trying anything concerning your mother," Giles assured her, "as there would be nothing to gain from it apart from your ire."

"Oh my God! Xander!" she exclaimed, her panic obvious.

"What about Xander?"

"Willow thinks he's the father," she told him worriedly, "which is partly my fault as i didn't far enough to tell her who is, but if she can't get at me..." she trailed off as scenario after scenario filtered through her mind, each one more horrifying than the last.

If anyone had asked her even a day ago whether Willow could ever do anything to harm her or Xander, she would have said no so loud and so fast it would have knocked their socks off, but now things were very different.

"Make your way over here," Giles told her quickly, his own voice taking on a more panicky tone, "and I will go over to Xander and check on him myself after I have informed your mother. Everything will be alright Buffy, you'll see."

Despite her faith in Giles, Buffy couldn't help but think that he'd soon be proven wrong.

* * *

Xander had just finished getting the laundry out of the dryer when he felt a pressure against his mind. He instantly knew what was happening, and idly wondered why he hadn't thought of getting Giles to procure more than one charm, when the pressure became too much to bear and the darkness claimed him. 


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter Four**_

Giles sped his way over to Xander's house, for once bemoaning the less than stellar performance of his 'classic' car. He had tried Xander's phone as soon as he'd finished talking to Buffy, and again during his drive using his newly acquired cell phone, but on both occasions there had been no answer.

It was now after nightfall, so it was conceivable that Xander was out on patrol, something that he had begun to do more frequently by himself now that Buffy was beginning to show, but Giles doubted it. Xander had, without fail, called Giles whenever he was going on patrol without Buffy, so that the former Watcher would be aware of what was going on, and he could see no reason why the young man would change things now, especially as he was aware that Willow now knew of Buffy's pregnancy.

Giles finally reached the Harris household, and his car had barely stopped when he had opened the door and exited it, and had locked it more out of reflex than anything else. He quickly made his way around to the side of the house, not wanting to have any dealings with Xander's parents, who were both prime examples of why the gene pool needed a little chlorine from time to time, and then almost vaulted down the steps to the basement door. He fished out the key from his pocket, given to him by Xander a couple of months ago for emergencies, and let himself in. He quickly found Xander, who was lying comatose in a decidedly uncomfortable looking position on the floor, and immediately rushed to his side and then checked him quickly for any obvious physical injuries, wary of using even a simple diagnostic spell to check for any internal damage for fear it would have an adverse reaction to whatever spell he was currently under.

Once Giles was, relatively, sure that Xander was suffering from no physical injuries, Giles picked him up and placed him gently down on the nearby couch, which looked to him like it doubled as Xander's bed. Giles felt a moment of guilt that he had never enquired as to Xander's living accommodations before tonight, seeing that it was much to be desired, but quickly filed that thought away for another time, as there were obviously far more pressing concerns needed to be dealt with first.

Xander's pulse, whilst alarmingly slow, was strong and steady, so Giles was not overly concerned for his physical welfare at the present moment, although he was concerned with the occasional look of pain that flittered across the young man's features. Whether things would change for the worse was uncertain, but whatever the case, Giles needed to determine for sure the cause, of Xander's current unconscious state, and then deal with it in the most expeditious manner.

Dipping into his esoteric knowledge once more, Giles cast a spell that would not only allow him to check to see if Xander was currently being affected by magic, but would also allow him to follow it to the source. Again, whilst Giles considered it a moot point, as he had very strong suspicions as to who was behind this, he had learnt not to assume anything, especially when there was a person's life on the line. Xander was under the affects of a spell that was still running, and Giles 'inner eye' allowed him to perceive the magic as a silk-like rope, which he then began to track back to it's source.

While Giles didn't like the thought of leaving Xander where he was, he didn't believe he had the time to take the young man anywhere else first, in case the caster finished the spell before he could trace it back, so after covering him with a blanket, Giles left the basement and locked the door behind him, before he got back into his car and followed the rope to its origin.

* * *

Ten minutes later, Giles had, unsurprisingly in his opinion, found himself at the college campus, more specifically outside the dorms where Willow was currently living. He kept following the rope, now certain where it would lead him even though he hoped otherwise, until he saw the rope going inside the door to Willow's dorm room. Giles knew that he had to be careful here, not only because he was dealing with a powerful, if not very experienced, witch, but because he was in a ladies dorm and was by all rights trespassing, so going with his gut instinct and knocking the door down would not be conducive to him receiving his answers, especially if the local constabulary got involved.

He knew that Willow would be aware of any mystical attempts to gain access to her room, so instead Giles delved into his chequered past and picked the lock, keeping an eye out for anyone noticing his presence. He smiled a little when it only took him a few seconds to succeed in his task, happy to see that his skills were still with him even though he no longer used them, and slipped inside.

Giles was shocked to find that, upon entering the room, while the rope had indeed led him to Willow, the young woman in question was currently asleep on her bed. The rope was connected to her, so there was no doubt that she was the one casting the spell on her childhood friend, but it looked like she had not consciously meant to do so.

That left him in somewhat of a quandary, as he needed Willow awake to find out which spell she had used, but if he woke her up it might have a diverse effect for Xander if the spell was suddenly broken, as he was unsure as to the nature of the spell, and it's intentions.

In the end, he could not allow the spell to continue, so he leant over Willow and none too gently shook her shoulders. "Willow! Wake up!" he barked sharply.

It had the desired effect as the spell was stopped and Willow's eyes snapped open. "Giles?" she said groggily. "What are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from killing Xander I hope," Giles replied angrily.

"What are you talking about?" Willow asked, still trying to fully wake up and assimilate what was going on.

Having realised that he needed to come about this differently, as it had been Willow's dream self at fault, Giles modulated his voice a little. "Can you remember what you were doing in your dream?" he asked her, hoping that she wasn't the type of person to forget their dreams, as he dare not think about what that would mean for Xander.

Still not fully with it, Willow didn't think about hiding the dark look that appeared on her face as she thought of her dream, nor did she disguise her tone. "I was thinking about how Buffy and Xander had been keeping their relationship from me," she replied angrily as she sat up, "not to mention the fact that he'd knocked her up, and I wanted to know what the hell they were thinking when they got together so I could show them the error of their ways."

Giles bit back the response that had first slipped into his mind, as he knew that, to find out the specific spell she had been using, he would need Willow's co-operation. He also knew that if he were to berate her for wanting Buffy to change her mind on the pregnancy, he would be nothing short of a hypocrite. He had changed his own opinion on the subject, helped by Joyce's colourful description of what she would do if he didn't reconsider his stance on the topic, but he had could not condemn Willow for thinking like he himself had done.

However, while they had both thought similar things, Giles had never for one moment considered trying to force Buffy to change her mind, or manipulate her; his part in her Cruciamentum would be the one and only time he would ever deceive her in such a way.

"Well, Willow, I'm afraid to say that your dream tried to become reality."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Whilst in your dream, you cast a spell on Buffy, and while I'm not certain what it was trying to do, from what you just said I imagine it would have been to access her memories and change them so that she would no longer want to keep the baby. Luckily, Xander had the foresight to ask me to provide her with some protection in that regard, and your attempt failed."

"That's why she suddenly disappeared behind a brick wall in my dream when I tried to speak to her," Willow said in realisation, seemingly satisfied that it wasn't her fault she couldn't do what she wanted to in the dream, only to cower a little under the glare Giles levelled at her.

"Yes, but Xander didn't request the same protection for himself, and is now in a coma due to your lack of control," Giles growled. "Do you remember the spell you cast?"

"As far as I was aware I wasn't casting a spell," she replied worriedly. "I have no idea what spell it was."

"Then get up, get dressed, and come with me, because by god you are going to help me figure it out." Giles then leant down so that his head was right in front of hers, and his tone suddenly became colder than liquid nitrogen. "If anything happens to Xander because of this, you better hope that Buffy gets to you before I do, because she'll just kill you." He stood back up and went to the door. "You have five minutes," he told her, before he went outside and left an ashen faced Willow alone to get dressed.

* * *

Just under five minutes later, Giles and Willow had left the dorms and were making their way back to Xander's where they would then take him back to his apartment to be looked after by Joyce and Buffy while he and Willow researched which spell she had inadvertently used during her dream.

Any goodwill Giles had been feeling towards the redhead had evaporated not long after their conversation when he had happened to see some of the magical tomes the young woman had in her collection; as well as a lot of advanced spell books, ones he knew Willow was not yet ready for, as she had proven she did not have the necessary control, her shelves also included several books from his own collection that he had thought lost last year. Giles had been quick to remove them from the shelves, and curbed his desire to berate the young woman again, instead storming out towards his car.

When they made it to Xander's 'apartment' and then ventured inside, Giles was gratified to see genuine concern on Willow's face for her lifelong friend, as she hadn't shown anything like the amount he would have expected until that point. From his first encounter with them, Giles could almost physically see the bond between the pair, and while he knew that the last couple of years had not been kind to either one of them, and that they were not as close as they had once been, he had no idea that things had gotten to the point where Willow would willingly inflict harm upon him.

That Willow was worried about Xander was a good sign, although Giles did wonder how long that would last. He knew that he was probably being unreasonable, not to mention overly judgemental, but he had never thought, at least until recently, that Willow would act the way she had, even if it had been subconsciously.

Xander was in the exact same position that Giles had left him in, and while he appeared to be in good health, as there was colour to his cheeks, the expression of discomfort on his face showed that he was in pain, although whether it was physically or mentally he couldn't be sure. Now that he had a little more time, emphasis on little, Giles did cast a quick diagnostic spell on Xander to check for any physical or internal injuries he might have sustained when falling to the floor when he'd been hit with the spell.

Giles was relieved to find that Xander was in good health, although it did point out that he really needed to eat more healthily, but the major concern was the stress his brain was being put under by the spell. He had already been under for quite some time, which meant that even if they were somehow able to recant the spell immediately there would be a chance of irreparable damage, but if it continued for too much longer... well, Giles didn't want to think about that right now.

"Willow, I need for you to pack Xander a change of clothes while I take him out to the car," Giles instructed the young woman, who immediately went into action, not wanting to see further glimpses of the darker side of someone she looked up to as a father figure.

"Shouldn't we tell his parents?" she asked, more for show than anything else. She wasn't sure how aware Giles was when it came to Xander's home life, and was not about to be the one to explain it to him.

"I doubt there would be any point," he replied, and once again made a note to see that Xander's situation was looked into once this crisis was over. The sooner he was away from the negative vibes in the house, that were almost visible they were so thick, the better off the young man would be.

Leaving Willow to deal with the young man's clothes, Giles carefully picked Xander up and took him to the car, laying him as best he could on the back seat. Once he was certain that Xander wouldn't move around too much during transit, Giles went back to the basement and semi-patiently waited for Willow to finish choosing what Xander would be wearing for the next couple of days. The moment she'd put the last of his clothes into a bag, Willow scampered outside and into the car, and Giles locked up and followed after her.

* * *

As Giles pulled up outside his apartment building, he was surprised to see Joyce standing at the door waiting for them. When she spotted Willow and her expression changed to one of rage, Giles knew that he would need to intercede before she did something that she would later regret, if only because it would impede Giles' ability to work out what spell Xander was under the influence of.

"Joyce," Giles began as he got out of the car and intercepted the Summers matriarch before she could get any closer, "I know you are upset right now..."

"Upset? **Upset**? You're damn right I'm upset! That bitch just tried to hurt my daughter and future grandchild!" Joyce roared angrily as she tried to get past Giles, but found herself unable. "Get the hell out of my way, Rupert!" she snapped.

"No, not until you listen to me, Joyce," Giles told her calmly but firmly. "Willow did not consciously do this; she was asleep at the time, and the spell was cast unknowingly. Also, Xander still appears to be under the influence of the spell that was cast, and because she was unaware of what she was doing, Willow does not know which spell it was to perform the counterspell. I need her help to stop something..." he fumbled for a moment to think of the best way of phrasing things, "permanent happening to Xander, so I would very much appreciate it if you leave her in one piece, at least for the time being."

Giles' explanation seemed to do the trick, and Joyce calmed down sufficiently that he no longer had to block her way. Willow, thinking that it was now safe to approach the pair, exited the vehicle and walked up to the apartment, only to receive a stinging slap to the face from the Summers matriarch. The blow had not been hard, at least not by demon standards, but the shock of being struck by someone Willow so respected made the young woman drop to her knees and stare at Joyce with tears in her eyes.

"You even **look** at my family wrong, young lady, and I swear I shall cut you off at the knee, my promise to God," Joyce told Willow angrily before storming inside, Buffy coming out a moment later.

"Where's Xan... what the hell is **she** doing here?" Buffy yelled as she spotted Willow on the ground, sobbing heavily into her hands.

"There's no time to explain, Buffy, so please just help me get Xander into the apartment," Giles sighed, knowing that if things went on as they were, he'd want to switch places with Xander just so he couldn't hear them all squabbling.

Buffy looked over to Giles' car and, as she noticed Xander's prone position, immediately rushed over to him, brushing his hair off his brow with a tenderness that the former Watcher would have needed to be blind to miss. Giles filed the movement away for the moment and then went over and assisted Buffy in bringing Xander into his apartment, knowing that while Buffy could have easily done it herself, she simply didn't have the size to carry the younger man in a comfortable position.

"We better take Xander upstairs," Giles suggested as they went inside, "as my bed would be more comfortable for him than the couch."

"Mom," Buffy called out as she saw the way her mother was looking at Willow, "why don't you help me with Xander while they work out what's wrong," she suggested, and received a nod in reply.

Buffy knew, of course, why her mother was acting the way she was, and she not only agreed wholeheartedly with it, she wanted nothing more than to join in, although with more violence, but Buffy knew from what she'd overheard Giles say outside that reaming Willow out had to take second place to fixing what she'd done to Xander. Afterwards, however, Buffy would most certainly be having words with the redhead, and doubted that their friendship would survive the conversation.

Giles was grateful that Buffy had suggested Joyce help her, as it meant that neither Summers woman would be around while he and Willow researched how to put right what Willow had done wrong, as they didn't have the time to be distracted from the comments and looks he was certain would have occurred had they all stayed in the same room.

As he passed Xander over to Joyce, Giles turned round and saw that Willow hadn't moved from her position outside, and he could tell from the way her shoulders were moving that she was still in quite a state. He felt a momentary pang of sympathy for the young woman before he ruthlessly crushed it, knowing that he didn't have the time to coddle her, and instead walked outside and pulled her up to her feet, although with more gentleness than he might have done a few minutes ago.

"Come along, Willow, we have work to do," Giles told her firmly, although he kept out the anger he felt bubbling just under the surface.

Willow said nothing, although she did nod her head ever so slightly, so Giles led her into the apartment, and she made no attempt to resist. He knew that he needed her to be more lucid than she was at the moment, so after Giles deposited her at the kitchen table, he knelt down beside her and spoke softly but firmly in her ear.

"If you want to have the slightest chance of fixing the damage your actions have caused," he said to her, "you need to help me save Xander's life, because if he dies Buffy will never forgive you, and I suspect you will never forgive yourself."

It took a few moments, but Giles could see that his words had penetrated as Willow began to regain control of herself. Once he was certain her head was back in the game, Giles rushed outside and gathered the books he had taken from Willow's dorm room out of his car and returned to his apartment, hoping that the answer they sought would be found sooner rather than later, for everyone's sake.

* * *

Joyce and Buffy gently laid Xander down onto the bed, and while Joyce went over to a nearby chair to sit, Buffy sat down next to Xander on the bed and began to run her fingers through his hair, hoping that her touch would help to somehow soothe the pained expression on his face.

Joyce watched her daughter as she tended to Xander, and realised that Buffy had finally begun to see what was in front of her. In a way, she was glad for it, because Joyce had long believed Xander to be a good matcher for Buffy, even if she had thought he could do with acting a little more mature at times. These past few months, Joyce had seen that change happen as Xander helped Buffy deal with her pregnancy, and she had also seen that the looks he would send her daughter's way when she wasn't looking were very similar to the ones he'd sent her way at the beginning of their friendship.

Unlike last time, where she had made some admittedly thinly veiled comments concerning Xander to Buffy, Joyce had kept her opinions to herself as she knew they would not have been received well by her daughter, who up until tonight had a blind spot when it came to Xander's potential as a love interest. To see that Buffy's opinion had changed was a surprise, but a welcome one.

The one reservation Joyce had about it was that Buffy might not be in the best frame of mind to consider changing her and Xander's relationship. Buffy's body was going through immense changes, and her emotions may well be influenced by that. She could understand it if it was, as Joyce knew how difficult it was to raise a child on her own, and she had only had to do it during Buffy's teenage years; she dreaded to think how she would have coped on her own from birth, as even with Hank around to help out it had sometimes been a struggle.

Xander had shown that he was willing to help Buffy however he could with the pregnancy and beyond, and Joyce hoped that Buffy's desire to not go through it alone wasn't influencing her change in mindset, because if it was, there was a good chance that things could end in tears, and Buffy would lose not only Xander's love, but also his friendship.

"Can I take it that your relationship with Xander has changed?" Joyce said eventually, speaking softly so as not to startle her daughter.

"No," Buffy replied just as softly, not taking her eyes away from Xander, "but I want it to," she confessed as she continued to stroke his hair.

"You know how I feel about Xander," Joyce began, "and I'm happy that you're finally seeing him, but I want you to be careful."

"Careful?" Buffy asked. "Why would I need to be careful? I know that Xander would never hurt me."

"No, he wouldn't, but you might hurt him if you get into a romantic relationship for the wrong reasons." When she saw Buffy about to comment, Joyce held a hand up and continued. "Just hear me out." Joyce waited for Buffy to nod her head before she went on. "I can see that your feelings for Xander have changed, and I'm not saying that there's a problem with that, but I want you to be sure that they've changed for the right reasons."

"What do you mean, the right reasons?" Buffy asked in confusion.

"You're body is going through a lot of changes," Joyce went on, "and your whole life is going to be altered when the baby is born, and it's understandable that you want to go through all that with someone at your side. I'm not saying that you're going to use Xander, but I do think you need to make sure that your change of heart where it comes to him is because of who he is, not what he can do for you and your child."

Buffy bit back the angry retort that had been threatening to come out, but only just. She could tell from the look on her face and the tone of her voice that her mother wasn't trying to pick a fight, and was genuinely concerned for both her and Xander. Buffy could see where her mother was coming from, as her feelings for Xander had changed during a period of time where her hormones were playing havoc with her body, and the prospect of being a single mother loomed ever closer, but the baby had little to do with her decision. However, because she couldn't say that the baby had nothing to do with it made Buffy decide to take heed of her mother's warning and be certain of what she wanted before she allowed anything else to happen between her and Xander.

That, of course, had to be put on the back burner for the moment, as right now the most important thing to her right now was for Xander to wake up. Buffy knew from the way Giles had spoken, and from what he hadn't said, that every moment Xander was left in this position meant there was a greater risk that he might not fully recover, or even recover at all. Even the thought of not having Xander in her life caused a pain to lance through her chest, and she found it hard to breathe. Buffy managed to calm herself after a moment, but that feeling, while dreadful, made her even more sure that her feeling for him were genuine.

All she needed to do now was wait for him to wake up so she could tell him.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Chapter Five**_

It was the following morning, and both Giles and Willow were still at the table researching the counterspell required to save Xander's life. Because the type of spell that Willow used was not common, it hadn't taken long to narrow it down to a handful of spells, but the problem came in choosing the correct one. The counterspells were actually quite similar in nature to each other, but they were also mutually exclusive, which meant that if the wrong one were used, the others would become useless and Xander would be beyond help. That was of course something they dearly wanted to prevent, which was why it was taking so long for them to be certain.

In the hope that it would jog her memory, Giles had grilled Willow over her dream, making her explain everything that she could remember happening. Each time he did so, Willow remembered something new, but so far nothing that would provide the clue they desperately needed. They were reaching the point where they might have to simply pick one by chance and pray that they had chosen correctly, as they both knew Xander would not survive much longer.

"Alright, Willow," Giles said tiredly, "lets go through the dream again."

"Giles, I've gone through it so many times now you can tell me what happened better than I can," Willow grumbled.

"Considering the alternative, I think that you can suffer through," he told her pointedly, and Willow had little option but to nod her assent.

"Okay, I was angry about, well, you know what I was angry about," Willow began, "and I tried to see what Buffy was thinking, but that brick wall blocked my view, so I tried to see what the hell Xander was thinking, and when I saw him I began to wave my arms around..."

"Wait, you say you waved your arms around?" Giles asked, interrupting her. "Can you remember whether there was a specific pattern?"

Instead of answering, Willow moved her arms around in the way she had in the dream. Giles immediately recognised the movements as part of one of the spells, and flicked through the books at breakneck speed to double check he was correct.

"Have you found it?" Willow asked excitedly, and was surprised that she had no interest in the spell itself, only in the fact that they'd be able to help Xander.

It had been a while since that had happened; even when researching the demon of the week, or the most recent apocalypse, she often saw the problem as secondary as the chance to absorb more esoteric knowledge. Even she could see that wasn't exactly healthy, but she didn't see it as a problem either; at the end of the day the reasons why she researched shouldn't matter as long as she researched and the job got done.

"I believe so, yes," Giles replied, his tone indicating that he too was finally able to see the light at the end of the tunnel, "in fact, I'm certain of it." he then shot up out of his chair and made his way to the stairs. "Come on!" he said to her urgently, reminding Willow that she had to be the one to cast the counterspell.

"What do I need to do?" she asked as she followed him up the stairs.

"Simply recite the counterspell whilst in physical contact with Xander," the former Watcher informed her, and went on as he saw the uncertain look on her face and assumed she was worried about how much contact was needed. "Simply holding his hand will be sufficient."

Willow breathed a small sigh of relief, but not for the reason Giles thought. She hadn't even entertained any such concerns, she was instead worried about how Buffy and Joyce would react to her having to be so close to Xander, especially after the way they had treated her last night. At the moment, she was firmly ensconced on the shit list of both Summers women, despite the fact she hadn't meant for this to happen, and knew that neither one would be willing to listen to her side of the story, at least not until Xander was out of danger.

When they entered the bedroom, they found that both Buffy and Joyce were asleep; Joyce in the chair in the corner, and Buffy snuggled up to Xander on the bed, her head resting on his chest. Both Giles and Willow stopped and surveyed the scene for a moment, as neither one could remember the last time they had seen such a look of serenity on Buffy's face like she had now. That moment quickly passed, as they reminded themselves just why they had rush upstairs, and Giles cleared his throat, the sudden noise enough to wake the pair.

"Wha... Giles?" Buffy mumbled sleepily as she sat up.

"We know which spell it was, and need to cast the counterspell," Giles informed her quickly, which acted like a double espresso to the blonde Slayer as she instantly became alert, Joyce not far behind, "so I suggest that you and Joyce go downstairs for a few minutes while we do what's necessary."

"Why can't we stay?" Joyce asked.

"We need to concentrate and, to be frank, I doubt that your presence will allow that," Giles replied simply, having caught the hard looks that both she and Buffy had sent Willow's way.

He, too, realised that neither woman would be very happy with Willow's close proximity to Xander, and whether he agreed with their continued animosity towards the young woman or not, he could see that their presence would certainly make a tense situation all the worse, and he needed Willow to remain as focussed as possible to ensure success.

"Alright, we'll go downstairs," Buffy replied before Joyce could say anything, "I need a coffee to function anyway."

While Buffy was still pissed at Willow, she knew that her feelings had to go on the back burner at the moment, especially as they were so close to fixing Xander, and all but dragged her mom out of the room, barely sparing the redhead a glance.

Willow waited for the two women to leave before she went over to Xander, and her heart constricted at the look of pain that was on his face, knowing that she was the one that put it there, intentionally or not. She sat cross-legged beside him on the bed, took the book from Giles and placed by her side, and then grasped Xander's right hand in her own. Taking a moment to compose herself, she then began to recite the counterspell from the book, taking great care to annunciate the words correctly so that she didn't run the risk of making a mistake.

It took several minutes, which both Willow and Giles knew was longer than normally necessary, but eventually the counterspell took affect and the pain began to recede from Xander's features. Once Willow was certain that the spell had been counteracted, she released Xander's hand and then got up from the bed, looking down at Xander worriedly as he had yet to awaken.

"I'm sure he's alright," Giles assured her when he noticed Willow's concern, "he just needs to recover from his ordeal, and his body is conserving energy by keeping him asleep."

"When do you think he will wake up?" Willow asked, feeling less concerned now that Giles had assured her, but unable to stop worrying completely.

"To be honest with you I have no idea," he replied, keeping as close to the truth as he could without giving a voice to his thoughts, "but I doubt it will be any longer than necessary."

In truth, Giles was worried by the fact that Xander hadn't awoken as soon as the spell had been revoked, as it leant weight that the young man had already been permanently damaged by the spell, but knew that now would not be the best time to voice his opinion. If Xander did not show any improvement by tonight, and remained in this coma like state for an extended period of time, they would need to figure out how they would explain his absence from work, as well as figure out a way to keep his body nourished while he was incapacitated; if Xander were in a hospital they would be able to help with that, but Giles doubted that Buffy would agree to him being admitted, especially with her own dislike of hospitals. It was an aversion she had to overcome, sooner rather than later, unless of course she intended to have a home birth, but that was a discussion for another time.

The more pressing concern right now was to try and deal with the animosity Joyce and Buffy had with Willow, as Xander would need a calm and relatively stress free environment to help with his recovery, which was something he most definitely would not find if her were to wake up now. It was ironic that Giles would often allow Xander to be the one to deal with these issues, as while he wasn't the most tactful of people, he certainly seemed to have a way with dealing with the non-Hellmouth dilemma that cropped up from time to time.

Giles believed he had a good grasp of both sides of the argument, which he hoped would be an advantage in finding some sort of middle ground between the trio, but he still feared that their emotions were ruling over their rationality at the moment, and that any endeavours he made would be useless. However, like most things in life, he didn't have the luxury of postponing it until a later date, so he would have to play the hand the cards had dealt him.

"Let's let him rest," Giles suggested as he gently took Willow by the elbow and led her downstairs. "We have a couple of other things to discuss in the interim."

Willow was well aware which things Giles meant, and was quite frankly not sure what she could say that would make any difference, especially if Buffy and Joyce weren't willing to listen to what she has to say. The trouble was, just like Giles, she knew that this was the best time to talk about it, as the last thing Xander needed was to wake up to the atmosphere that was in the air at the moment. There was another reason Willow didn't want to wait for Xander to wake up, and that was because she feared that he would side with Buffy and Joyce over the whole thing, a prospect that Willow did not like at all.

"Well?" Buffy demanded the moment they were in sight of her. "Did it work?"

"Yes, we have successfully countermanded the spell," Giles informed her, and saw that both Buffy and Joyce sighed with relief at the news.

"Where is he?" Joyce asked, having noticed that Xander had not joined them.

"He is still unconscious; while the spell is no longer active, he is still feeling the effects of it," he explained, "and it will take time for his mind to recover."

"Will he recover?" Buffy asked, fearing the answer.

Giles tried to think of a way to put things that would reassure them all, but couldn't think of one that didn't require him to lie in one form or another. "To be honest I am unsure, as he had been under the spell far longer than it was intended to be used. I would say that the longer Xander remains unconscious, the greater the chance that there has been permanent damage."

Like a shot, Buffy was out of her chair and stalking towards Willow, only for Giles to intercept her. "Get out of my way!" Buffy demanded as she struggled to get past.

"No, Buffy, Willow is a guest in my home just like yourself and your mother, and I will not tolerate any violence under my roof, from you or anyone else," Giles told her calmly but firmly, knowing that if he lost his temper there would be no chance of this ending peacefully.

They both knew that if she wanted to Buffy could get past Giles with ease, but not without the rink of injury to him. That she wasn't doing so gave Giles hope that she could be reasoned with, as well a feeling of relief as he'd gone several months without a concussion and was in no rush for that to change. He could see that Joyce, while still less than happy with the redhead, was more calm than she had been last night, and took that as a good omen also. He knew that this would not work if they were not willing to listen to reason, but it seemed like he might have a chance.

"How can you defend her after what she's done?" Buffy asked him incredulously.

"I am doing this as much for your benefit as for Willow's," Giles informed her. "We need to discuss exactly what did happen last night, so we are all aware of the facts."

"I know the facts; she tried to have me kill my baby!" Buffy screamed.

"Buffy!" Joyce snapped suddenly. "Listen to what Rupert has to say."

"Mom?" Buffy said, her tone one of surprise and hurt.

"This is not a problem you can solve with your fists," Joyce told her. When she saw her daughter about to say something, she continued. "Before you say it, I am not siding with anyone, and if I were it would most certainly not be her, but before we all do something we regret, I think we need to calm down and deal with this rationally."

It was taking a lot of effort for Joyce to remain calm herself, but she had often told Buffy that she needed to deal with her problems calmly and rationally instead of flying off the handle, and she would not make herself look like a hypocrite in her daughter's eyes. That wasn't to say she didn't wholeheartedly agree with her daughter's sentiment, but she was an adult and had to set an example.

Willow had remained quiet throughout this exchange, knowing that to speak up now would only make things worse. She was glad that Giles, and it seemed Joyce, wanted to deal with this rationally, as it at least gave her hope that she might be able to salvage her relationship with the two Summers women, and Giles as well.

"Alright," Giles said when he felt Buffy relax, thankful that she was listening to her mother, "why don't we all sit down?" he waited for Buffy's nod of agreement and return to her chair before he, too, sat down, and indicated for Willow to sit on the couch beside him, which kept him between her and his charge.

"Okay, we're sitting down, we're all calm, now explain to me whet we have to talk about, as I thought the facts spoke for themselves," Buffy said with forced calmness, looking pointedly at Willow, who was still silent.

"We live on a Hellmouth, Buffy; nothing is ever as simple as it seems," Giles began with a sigh. He looked over at Willow, who seemed to have withdrawn into herself somewhat, and knew that he would have to be the one to try and explain things. "While it is true that Willow was the one that attempted to cast a spell on you, and successfully cast one on Xander, she did not do so consciously. When I arrived at her dorm, I found Willow asleep on her bed; the spells had been cast as part of a dream she was having, and Willow was completely unaware that she was doing so."

"What difference does that make?" Buffy asked stubbornly.

"The difference, Buffy, is that Willow was not in control of her actions when she did what she did," Giles explained. "We have seen in the past how a person's perception can change reality; Marcy Ross believed that she was invisible to everyone and actually became invisible because of her conviction. As I said back then, we live in a place where the saying 'I think, therefore I am' takes on a whole new meaning. Willow is no more to blame for what her dream manifested than young Billy was when he inadvertently made our nightmares become real."

"I won't lie and say I didn't think about it," Willow said, finally joining in the conversation, "but thinking about something and actually doing it are two different things. And as Giles said, I did nothing wrong."

"I didn't say that, Willow," Giles denied.

"But..."

"While we do live on a phenomenon that allows the impossible to become possible," the former Watcher went on before she could say anything, "you are not completely without blame here. It is quite clear that you are a powerful witch, but you seem to lack both the wisdom and control to balance out that power."

"Of course I have control!" Willow stated forcefully.

"If you had control, Willow, Xander wouldn't be in a coma right now," Giles pointed out bluntly.

"That's not fair and you know it!" she cried.

"Life isn't fair, and we **all** know that," Giles retorted. "Everybody has dreams where they do things they wouldn't in real life, but few of us have the power or the knowledge you do. While I am loathe to admit it, Xander once talked about a comic book that had a suitable quote for this situation; 'with great power come great responsibility'. Your power is great, and will no doubt only increase as you get older, but with that power comes the responsibility of controlling your power so that situations like the one that happened last night does not occur. It was your lack of control over your own abilities that provided your subconscious with a way of making your dream a reality.

"As I said before," Giles went on, "you did not purposefully cause what happened, but you also didn't take steps to prevent it. Admittedly, you weren't to know that something like this were to happen, none of us did, but you must now take steps to ensure that this does not happen again, otherwise dream or not, you will be to blame, and will have to face the consequences."

"Giles is right," Buffy said, her tone far calmer than it had been before. "We all know how fast and strong I am, and because of that I have to constantly be on guard. If I'd lost control earlier when Giles got in my way, I could have hurt him, or worse. When I was first called, I'd broken more than one coffee mug because I held it too tightly, and I nearly ripped another cheerleader's arm out of their socket during a practise. It took time, and a lot of hard work, but I've reached a stage where I don't have to think about every move I make, and instinctively know how much strength is safe to use. You need to do the same with your magic, otherwise the next time there might not be a counterspell to find."

Buffy hated to admit it, but she had a unique insight into what Willow was dealing with, and could, reluctantly, understand how last night could have happened. She shuddered to think what might have happened had she gotten into a fight with someone when she first became the Slayer, as they would have been nothing more than a smear on the wall before Merrick, and later Giles, taught her how to control her abilities. She at least had people around to train her, whereas Willow hasn't had anyone to train her but herself.

It made Buffy wonder why Giles hadn't considered training Willow himself, although with the way he talked, or to be accurate didn't talk, about his past it wasn't a massive surprise. He hadn't exactly been a model student himself if Eyghon was anything to go by, so while Giles might have a better understanding of what shouldn't be done, that didn't make him the ideal candidate to show someone how it **should **be done. Jenny Calendar had started to train Willow, but hadn't got very far into it before the whole Angelus saga, so apart from that Willow had been left to her own devices, and in hindsight that was not a very good thing to do.

Try as she might to hang on to it, Buffy felt her anger seep away, but that still left the feelings of mistrust this whole thing had caused. She still remembered Willow's first thought upon hearing of her pregnancy was to find a spell to 'fix' it, and she was smart enough to know that Willow could only have been able to cast the spell she'd used in her sleep if she'd already been researching it. Willow may not have knowingly cast it, but that didn't mean she wouldn't have done so at a later date, and because of that it would take a long time for Buffy to feel comfortable enough around Willow and not feel glad she had the amulet to protect her.

Joyce was thinking along a similar vein to her daughter; she had never really talked to Buffy about what it was like to be able to do the things she could do, partly because she didn't want to know, and to hear the note of worry in Buffy's voice when she talked about it made her realise that she should have done so a long time ago. That Willow was in a similar situation, only without the support system her daughter had been blessed with, made it very difficult for her to maintain her anger at the young woman.

That's not to say that Joyce didn't still hold Willow at least partly responsible for what happened, as her dream self wouldn't have been able to do what it had if she hadn't read up on the subject in the first place, nor did it mean that she would apologise for the way she had acted last night, as given the circumstances she felt justified, but she would do her best to ensure that she did not harbour a grudge against the young woman. However, now that she's been made aware of things, Joyce would have no sympathy for Willow if something similar happened again because she didn't take heed of what was said.

Willow couldn't say that she was particularly happy with the way the conversation had gone, but she knew that it could have gone a lot worse. While it hadn't been said outright, Willow knew that she was no longer seen as the guilty party concerning Xander's condition, at least not completely anyway. She herself felt a little guilty over the whole thing, and would freely admit that she did have a part to play in it, but that was where her agreement ended.

Who were they to say she didn't have control over her power? No one has control over their dreams, and Willow thought it unfair that Giles and the others were holding her to a different set of rules to everyone else. As Giles himself had stated, she shouldn't be held accountable for what she did when she was asleep, no more than someone should be held accountable for what they did while sleepwalking. The trouble was that Giles had then immediately turned round and said that she could in fact be held accountable, although she knew that pointing out this double standard to them would be pointless; like many other times before, they had made up their minds and now their opinion was fact. That had never bothered her before, the way they, and she herself, did that from time to time, but it wasn't as fun when you were on the other end of it.

Willow knew that the others would be keeping a close eye on her from now on, definitely all the time Xander was laid out and probably until the birth of Buffy's baby, so she would have to be more careful around them, but she could see no real reason why she should change the way she did things, as it had worked just fine for her so far, with the occasional and inevitable blip, nor did she have any intention of doing so. After all, it was her life, and she would live it as she so wished, whether the others like it or not.

Now, that wasn't to say that Willow wanted to antagonise them, as she still considered them her friends after all, and would remain so until such time that they made it impossible for her to live her life without doing so, so for the time being she was, not happy exactly, but willing to tow the party line, at least until she knew they weren't watching her every move. That meant, of course, that she had to appease them, which began by deferring to their judgement and there was no time like the present to do that.

Willow knew that they would be suspicious if she were to come around to their way of thinking too quickly, so she would have to play it carefully. Fortunately for her, the only person who could be able to tell whether she was being deceitful, no matter how careful she was, was currently out of commission.

"I can't say that I agree with everything you've said," Willow stated, keeping as close to the truth as possible, "but I can see that you all feel strongly about this, so I'll at least look into it."

"I can help you with some simple mental exercises that will afford you better control over your mind, whether awake or not," Giles suggested to her, happy to to hear that Willow was at least willing to entertain the possibility that she needed help, "and I can also contact a few people to enquire about someone who could give you more formal training in magic."

Willow nodded her agreement instead of speaking, as she didn't trust her voice at the moment. Giles knew people that she could have learnt from, and he never told her! She's had to learn everything herself, apart from a couple of lessens from Ms. Calendar, and he'd had people he could have called from the start, and yet didn't. It just proved to her that she really hadn't done anything wrong; even if she didn't have control, which she knew she did, it was Giles' fault for not providing her with the necessary training in the first place, especially when they needed her abilities to help.

As far as Willow was concerned, Giles was now just covering his own ass for not helping her out before, and was making it sound like she needed help so that he could provide it, in an attempt to hide that it was his fault in the first place. He knew she had been learning magic from the beginning, and definitely after she cursed Angelus, but he never once tried to teach her himself, or get anyone else to either, and yet still blames her for her lack of control.

"Now then, there is another thing we need to discuss," Giles continued, ignorant of Willow's inner thoughts, "and that is Xander. As I stated previously, I am unsure as to how long he will remain unconscious, and we need to work out what is to be done if it is going to be for an extended period of time."

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked.

"Well, to begin with, his employers will need to be informed that he will not be returning to work for the foreseeable future, and they will of course require a reason that is both feasible and will not result in Xander's termination. His parents will also need to be notified, although from what Xander has said of them, we could simply tell them we told them and they wouldn't have the faintest idea."

"You're right there," Willow agreed, happy that they were no longer focussed on her, "they'll only notice he's missing when they notice he hasn't paid his rent."

"Okay, I'm sure we can think of something," Buffy stated confidently, "what else?"

"Well, Xander will no doubt need to be looked after, something I am both willing and happy to do, but I do not have the necessary medical training to look after a coma patient, which is basically what Xander is for the time being. We have no idea whether his condition will worsen or not, or what other complications might occur, and we are simply not qualified nor equipped to meet his needs. However, if he were in a hospital..."

"Absolutely not!" Buffy objected immediately. "We're not sticking Xander in a hospital, especially not one in Sunnydale! All we need is for it to get out that a friend of the Slayer is holed up in the hospital, and who knows what might happen!"

"Buffy, you yourself have been admitted into hospital before, and nothing happened to you," Giles pointed out, "so has Willow and Cordelia."

"Yeah, well, the only reason Angelus didn't do anything to me is because Xander stopped him, and both Willow and Cordelia had people with them all the time, so they couldn't be got at without causing a disturbance."

"Wait, what do you mean that Xander prevented Angelus from getting you?" Giles asked.

"Angelus turned up one night and Xander made him leave," Buffy replied with pride in her voice, although she would admit to acting very differently when she herself had found out. "I won't go into details because I know Xander wouldn't like it," she went on before they could ask, "but yeah, he stopped Angelus from doing whatever it was he wanted to do."

Buffy had been having a conversation with Angel, not long before he decided to leave Sunnydale, when she'd happened to ask why Angelus never tried anything when she'd been in hospital with the flu. Angel had never been the most expressive individual in the world, so when he visibly reacted to her question Buffy knew there was a story there.

It took a while, but Buffy finally managed to get the encounter he, or to be precise Angelus, had with Xander out of him, which she initially thought was a lie until she realised that there was no way Angel would try and make Xander look good in her eyes. She'd thought about confronting Xander about it, but figured there must have been a reason he hadn't told her, and knew that he would only get embarrassed and play it down, so she decided against it, although now that the others knew she might change her mind on that.

"Good Lord," Giles said eventually, a little shocked by that revelation. It wasn't unprecedented for a human to back down a vampire, but it was well documented that Angelus was anything but a normal vampire, and while Xander was quite proficient in his fighting skills now, it wouldn't be unfair to say that he wasn't at the time the incident occurred.

"Getting back on track," he said after a moment, "while you do make a good point, we have no idea how long Xander will be in the condition he is now, and we are simply not qualified to look after him in the way he deserves. I know that you are averse to hospitals at the best of times, and not without good reason given your less then stellar experiences, but what we have to focus on here is what is best for Xander, and if he is not awake in a day or so, the hospital would be the best place for him."

"He's right, honey," Joyce continued, "I don't like hospitals any more than you do, but we'd only be hurting Xander more by keeping him from the best care, and I know you wouldn't want to do that."

It was emotional blackmail and Buffy knew it, but she also knew that they were right. Also, she would need to be admitted to hospital herself in a few months when the baby was due, as there was no way she was having him or her anywhere else, so her dislike of hospitals would need to go on the back burner.

"Alright, if we have to we'll take him to hospital," Buffy relented, albeit reluctantly, "but if we do need to do that, what are we going to tell them happened for him to be how he is? It's not as though we can tell him it was magic, and there's no way I'm letting anyone hit him to make it look like he injured himself in a fall or an accident."

"We could simply say that we hadn't heard from him and went to his house to check on him and discovered him lying on the floor," Giles explained. "It wouldn't be a lie, as that was how I did find him, it would simply be a day or two after the fact. That would work out better, as we could call for an ambulance and leave them with the burden of working out what happened as opposed to us."

"It would also be a good enough excuse to appease his bosses, as I couldn't see them firing him whilst he was in a coma," Joyce added, "especially if we were to suggest that the local media would get wind of it if they tried."

"That's a good idea, Joyce," Giles praised. "Of course," he went on, "I am hoping that these contingencies will not be necessary, and that he will awaken shortly, but realistically that isn't likely to happen."

"Alright, we'll work out the particulars if we have to," Buffy said, not wanting to think too much on that subject right now, "but right now I could really do with a shower and a change of clothes, not to mention breakfast."

"I think we could all do with some rest," Giles said in agreement. "I have nothing that requires me to leave today, so I will keep an eye on Xander, and we can all reconvene here this evening."

Willow was quick to agree, happy to hear that she could get away from the others for a while, especially as she had classes to attend. "That's fine with me; will you need help clearing up, Giles?" she asked, more out of courtesy than out of any desire to help out.

"I'll give Rupert a hand," Joyce said, "I don't have to be at the gallery until later."

In truth, she wanted to have a word with him about Willow, and what options were available to them if something like what happened last night happened again. She was no longer feeling the same animosity towards the young woman, but her family came first and she wanted to ensure that measures were put in place to protect them, and she now included Xander in that.

She knew the way her daughter was beginning to feel about him, and she would need to be blind to not know Xander's thoughts on the matter, and wanted to give them every opportunity to explore that aspect of their relationship, wherever it may lead. She still had her misgivings over the timing of Buffy's change of heart where Xander's suitability as a boyfriend was concerned, but she would be lying if she said the thought of them getting together didn't appeal.

"Thank you, Joyce, that would be lovely," Giles replied, having quickly cottoned on that Joyce wanted to speak with him about something, although what it was he was uncertain.

"I'll just go up and look in on Xander again before I go," Buffy said as she made her way towards the stairs.

"Alright, honey, I'll see you tonight," Joyce replied to her daughter's retreating form as she bounded up the stairs.

"I'm gonna get going as well," Willow said, seeing this as her best chance to depart.

"Alright, Willow," Giles replied. "Try to get some rest."

"I will," she told him, before she nodded to Joyce and made her way outside.


End file.
